Roped In & Riding It Out - Greg & Sandi’s Story

Intro: The hardest - hardest by far - people to tell where my parents because I knew they would be so disappointed. I don't know that they really liked Greg until we brought Tony home from the hospital. 

Sometimes you just, you know, you pull up your bootstraps and you just get it done because you have to. I think that's the question I got met with a lot is like, how did you do it? How did you do it without support? And it was like, well, I didn't have another choice. So you figure it out and you learn how to do it. 

I mean, we had whatever is less than no money. We both worked all the part time minimum wage jobs we could get at the same time, you know, all the time. And we lived in a little shack that Greg's parents bought that didn't have any heater air. We had a wood stove. You could see your breath in our bedroom on cold winter mornings. We just closed the door and let all the heat go to the baby's room. 

Kaitlyn: Today we're diving into a remarkable story that started 42 years ago, when Greg and Sandy Williams found themselves facing an unplanned pregnancy as both a freshman and sophomore in college. Against all odds with the support from their families, Pell grants, lots of part time jobs and sheer determination. They managed to stay in school, get married and eventually build remarkable careers for themselves. Greg has dedicated 36 years to Auburn University, starting in the Animal Science department and later founding and coaching the university's equestrian team. Sandy continued to pursue her passion for teaching for 26 years and is now thriving as a realtor. Join us as we explore how they kept their dreams alive, their family strong, and their legacy inspiring. 

If you believe in the power of sharing stories that matter, we would love for you to leave us a five star review. It's a free and easy way to make a difference, and if you want to help spread the message that no Student-Mom should face an unplanned pregnancy alone, consider becoming a financial supporter by clicking the link in our show notes and leaving a tax deductible donation. So, without further ado, let's welcome Greg and Sandy Williams to the podcast. 

Well, Greg and Sandy, thank you so much for joining the podcast today. This is actually the first time in the podcast history we've ever had a husband and wife sharing their stories together. And I'm so incredibly excited because we've never really heard from a male's perspective before. So no pressure, Greg, but you're starting a new standard for the podcast. 

Greg: Okay, well, I can lower it then for sure.

Kaitlyn: So tell our listeners, how did you two meet each other?

Greg: Uh, well, we met in - we both rodeoed, and we met at the high school National Finals Rodeo in Douglas, Wyoming, and really liked her a lot there, but then that's just one week and then we're gone our separate ways. And, uh, almost a year later, then I found out another rodeo and, uh, that was that was kind of when I was probably head over heels then, for sure.

Kaitlyn: I mean, there are a lot of people that go to these rodeos, so she must have stood out.

Greg:Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, she definitely, definitely did. And I was super quiet back then. So we always say, you know, my whole pickup line is out there. I asked her if she would pin my number on, you know, and and she did because -

Sandy: which was taking his life into his hands because my horse kicked.

Kaitlyn:Oh my gosh! 

Sandy: Yeah. 

Kaitlyn: So were you both there to participate in the rodeo or were you there spectators? 

Greg: No, we had both qualified. 

Kaitlyn: Wow. So what did you do? What? I am not into the horse world. So for all of our listeners who know nothing about this whole other world, um, what specifically were you doing at the rodeo? 

Greg: I rode rough stock and roped, um. Bareback riding is probably my true love, but, uh, I was a better roper for sure. 

Kaitlyn: Okay. 

Sandy: And I was, um, out there in Wyoming, goat tying. And, uh, was the Alabama high school rodeo queen that year. 

Kaitlyn: Oh my Gosh. 

Sandy: Yeah, we were horseback when we were introduced. We didn't meet. We were from Alabama, but we met in Wyoming. 

Kaitlyn: So how wild is that? 

Sandy: It was pretty wild. 

Kaitlyn: Oh my goodness. So then what does college look like for the both of you? 

Greg: I still really wanted to rodeo, so I probably started college without, uh, being ready. Um, and I did actually then drop out after two semesters to try rodeo full time. And, uh, I found out I wasn't good enough to make a living at that. So that was when I came back and found Sandy. 

Sandy: Yeah. And I'm a … I'm a year younger than Greg is. So I, um, had a really nice scholarship situation at a different university than where he was. And so I started my freshman year, um, at the University of South Carolina down, I mean, at the University of South Alabama down in mobile. And, uh, but he was at Auburn. 

Kaitlyn: Okay. So then what does it look like finding out you had an unplanned pregnancy? 

Sandy: So I was in my, um, I had I was first quarter freshman down there and, uh, my roommate, uh, drove me to a clinic to get tested, and I found out I was pregnant. And I called Greg and told him, and, um. You want to say what you were thinking at that point? 

Greg: No, I don't can’t - I remember just being, um, a little bit shell shocked then about, uh. 

Sandy: Yeah, for sure. 

Greg: You know how to get through that. 

Kaitlyn: I mean, so young. You said freshman year?

Sandy: Yeah, we were 18 and 19.

Kaitlyn: Oh my Gosh.

Sandy: Yeah, he he had he was a sophomore technically, and I was a freshman just like a first quarter freshman in college. Yeah. Just got there.

Kaitlyn: So finding out that it's actually real. What goes through both of y'all's minds, I mean, is parenting the first thing that comes to mind and telling everybody that you're pregnant or are you panicked? 

Greg: I think probably making a plan. But still first. But then it's in the back of your mind. Now you got to tell everybody. And it rearranges all of our plans. Um, and so I, I did call a friend of mine and said, well, then I'm not going to be back in school now. So I, I called a friend of mine and, uh, immediately got a set up to get a job at a, a factory near there, but

Sandy: like a real job

Greg: a pretty good job, pretty good wage. And I, uh, it was when I was just talking, I told my mom and I, and I was then went out to talk to my dad out there at the barn, and, uh, he was just pretty nonchalant about it. Of course, they had been through it themselves. Um, so he just, uh, kept acting like nothing's going on, and, and, uh, I told him, I said, well, that I'd made phone calls. I've got a job. And, uh, but I'll have to be making some more plans from that. And he just kept doing what he was doing. He said, well, I think you ought to stay in school. He said, we'll figure that out from there. And that is something that why I'm why I so love this. You know, the the these programs that help help people. We had you know, our, our group was our parents and, um, it is I'm so thankful for that. It was, uh, I mean, that was what you probably couldn't, you know, you just. Yes, you can go to school. You can do it by yourself. You can do all those things. But it's so much more helpful when you have somebody in there helping you know that. 

Kaitlyn: Absolutely, you are ready to give up on school and just go to work full time.

Greg: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that was just the first thing was, is how do I, you know, take care of Sandy and a baby. 

Kaitlyn: Wow. And Sandy, what was your initial reaction? 

Sandy: Um, I was, um, I was really worried about what he was going to like. What was he what was he going to say? What was he going to think? What were we going to be able to keep it together or whatever? I mean, arguably we were the teenage version of In Love with Each Other. It turned out to be, you know, everlasting. But, um, you know, you never know. And I was, I think, first and foremost, really scared of what he would think and what he would do, which he certainly the first thing he said was, um, we should get married. And we did that weekend.

Kaitlyn: Wow.

Sandy: The the the hardest, hardest by far. People to tell were my parents. Yeah. Because I knew they would be so disappointed. Um. And it was really hard for them, I know. Um, probably. I don't know that they really liked Greg until we brought Tony home from the hospital, and they just saw how in love he was with the baby. Um, they knew he they knew he loved me and all of that, but they just were shell shocked. And they. It was it was a harder adjustment for them, I think, than it was for me.

Honestly, I did not want to be a teen pregnancy statistic or anything like that. I we had plans and um, but I, I, I had no doubt that I wanted to be with Greg. And so we just were going to have to figure out how to make that work. And, uh, we always assumed at best, one of us would be able to go to school at least at a time. So who knows if or how long it would have possibly taken for us to get through without without some help.

Kaitlyn: Wow. So you were at South Alabama at the time and Greg was at Auburn. So then what happened? Did one of y'all move or how did that pan out?

Sandy: Well, we got married that weekend. Okay. And at my home, at my hometown. And, um, and then I went, I, we spent a night in a hotel, and then I went back to the University of South Alabama, and he went to Auburn, and, um, and I finished out the quarter, um, that I'd started. Um, and so technically, we were a few months of seeing each other sometimes on the weekends. Um, I didn't have a car at college, so I would sometimes hitch rides with other people headed to Auburn for the weekend or whatever. And I'm, you know, like throwing up with morning sickness and everything else. And, but, uh, but then I guess December, whatever, finals were over. Then I moved to Auburn and then, you know, we lived then we could live together. So that's kind of our anniversary is more December than September. But yeah.

Kaitlyn: So what was it like being in college, being pregnant and or, you know, having your little one?

Sandy: Um, it was not, um, the easiest thing. I wouldn't say being in college and being pregnant just, um, it wasn't a place where I had built in friends or any. I didn't have any any of my pre-existing friends. And, you know, other freshman girls are probably not, uh, looking at my big belly and thinking, well, she's probably a nice girl, you know? So, anyway, um, but Greg's pretty much always been my best friend. And, um, we they were not bad times at all, but, I mean, we had whatever's less than no money. I mean, we had our families made sure we we could stay in school. We've got Pell Grants that pretty much paid for our tuition and books. We both worked all the part time minimum wage jobs we could get at the same time. You know, all the time. And we lived in a little shack that Greg's parents bought that didn't have any heater air. We had a wood stove. You could see your breath in our bedroom on cold winter mornings. We'd just close the door and let all the heat go to the baby's room. And, uh, we had a little window air conditioner, but we couldn't afford to turn it on, so. So we literally, we just we lived very we lived way below the poverty line, but we just kept going to school, and we we it took us a while, but we. Yeah, we finished school with our little with our little girl in tow,

Greg: still go to parties with our friends and like, we couldn't afford to drink, but we were just there. And, uh, so, I mean, we still have great memories from that. So yeah, our, our celebration at the end of the quarter is we would actually let ourselves buy some beer and chips and dip and we would turn that, um, window unit on and sit in front of it and drink beer and eat dip. That was our celebration.

Sandy:We were living high on the hog

Greg: and we could turn the window unit on. That was a big deal.

Kaitlyn: Oh my.

Sandy: And Tony, Tony, she just kind of grew up with us, you know, the three of us just kind of grew up together. She when they gave she of course had to be in childcare, um, so that we could go to school and everything. And she would, um, if they'd put out tape out the big piece of paper for her on the table at, at preschool. And she'd take a crayon, the big fat crayon, and she'd go, squiggle, squiggle, squiggle, squiggle, squiggle. Like she was taking notes. She didn't draw pictures. She just like she saw. She was just with us all the time. So she'd just draw lines of. She would just draw lines of, of notes on her, on her art paper.

Kaitlyn: Wow. Yeah. Did you feel like y'all had to grow up pretty darn quickly, being a parent while being a college student at the same time.

Greg: I don't know if it felt conscious or not. You just sort of you do it. Um, something Sandy and her family always say is babies make their own welcome. And I think that was, you know, that is kind of comforting. They do. I don't know if anybody's really ever ready for it. They can think they are. But. So it's, uh, you know, as, as unplanned pregnancies can be, be scary. They're you're really not much different from people that are trying. Nothing can really prepare you for parenthood anyway. So, um, but yes, we were extremely young, so we did have to kind of grow up together.

Sandy: Um, I feel like you were so steady and grown up already, but I had a lot of growing up to do. But we. One thing was for sure, we did not ever want to disappoint each other. And we wanted to be really good parents. So, we I think that was just our focus.

Kaitlyn: Absolutely. As far as you know, your college professors and trying to juggle everything. How did it feel, you know, knowing that you'd have to either bring your child with you, or were there ever times where you had to leave early because your child was sick or you weren't feeling well? What was it like communicating with professors that you were a different kind of student?

Greg: Mine were good. Um, the fact is, in animal science, it's kind of a close department. And, uh, the. Well, the day that Tony was born, I actually had a nutrition test that morning. Animal. Animal nutrition. It's an extremely hard, hard course. And I called Doctor Thomas, and I said, I mean, we're at the hospital, and I kind of, ironically, a guy that was in our department who was also sort of my boss at the equestrian center at that time, uh, he and his wife were having a baby in the next room. He was a professor, and then they were having a baby in the next room with us. And here I was a student. Yeah. His student that worked under him. Um, but I called. I called Doctor Thomas. I remember that, and I said, uh, I was waiting. Can I just can I please just take the test tomorrow? And he said, um, let's just get it on the ground first, and then we'll talk about when you take your test. But thank the Lord, I had no idea I was no more going to be ready for a test the next day than.

Sandy: Yeah. It's crazy. Um, um, but it's true. But when you're young, you do have all that energy. I mean, we were we didn't know. We didn't, we didn't. I don't remember feeling like I was tired or what. I mean, we were fine. We just did what we needed to do.

Kaitlyn: Absolutely. Sometimes you just, you know, you pull up your bootstraps and you just get it done because you have to. Um, I think that's the question I got met with a lot is like, how did you do it? How did you do it without support? And it was like, well, I didn't have another choice. So you figure it out and you learn how to do it.

Sandy: Yeah. You do.

Kaitlyn: So what characteristics do you feel like you both had that helped enable you push through difficult times while juggling all of this.

Greg: Well, her for me. I mean that was but I, I also again go back to the the greatest thing is if you can you can do it. You can pull yourself up by your bootstraps. But the belief that you can get from other people, which for us is our families. Um, it wasn't just the support of helping us fix up an old house. Um, it was just the true belief that they had that, you know, you're going to be fine. I mean, it's you're going to be fine. You can sleep another day.

Kaitlyn: Mhm. Yeah. What about for you, Sandy?

Sandy: Um, well, I to not sound like a broken record, but I just loved Greg so much and loved Tony so much that I was like, it's not. This is exactly where I want to be. And I know that's not the experience for everybody, but, um, you know, I wasn't alone, you know, for one minute I wasn't facing it alone. And that was a true blessing. And we, as Greg said, our parents were so supportive of us. And again, not not throwing money at us, trying to make us live on easy street by any means, but just knowing that they were excited to be grandparents and continue to be our parents and our guides and, um, and, um, help us, you know, with whatever we just so we could survive, you know, just survive and get through until we could completely take care of ourselves. And, uh, and I'm sure on some in some way we could have managed to take care of ourselves, but it wouldn't have been. We wouldn't have been. We wouldn't have stayed in school. We couldn't possibly. Both have stayed in school if either one of us even could have. And then, I mean, we've had such an amazing, amazing, you know, 42 years. I just can't imagine that that that it could have possibly been a fraction of as good. Um, if we hadn't been able to stay in school.

Kaitlyn: You know, I think that's something not a lot of people talk about. I think people get scared when couples rush into marriage or, you know, just get married pretty quickly after something. But what's indescribable about those years are you're going through the struggle together. Um, my husband and I were the same way. You know, we were married after three months, and everybody was just totally shocked about that. But we built a life together. We went through those really tough moments, a lot of them financially, too. And that was the mortar that held all of these bricks year after year, because we weren't joining two completely separate lives that were stable and now trying to make them fit. We had to build that wall together. And I see that similarity in y'all's story. It's really beautiful to hear.

Greg: Well thank you. It it's it's a yeah it is a an amazing process for sure. And you know we we talk about this all the time. I do wish more young couples could start out in tougher situations and build something together. I think that they would have a much more rewarding relationship and marriage if, uh, if they start out that way, really having to fight for something together.

Sandy: We do know that we do know how lucky we are that we do still like each other, and that we did still like each other one year later and five years later, and ten years later and four decades later, um, our daughters, we have two daughters and, um, I know they, um, I can remember several times they'd be talking to friends or their friends. Their friends would say, you know, your parents look so young. Uh, how old were they when they had you? And, um. So. And then I'm like, here we go. Um, and, and, um, and I would start to say, but and they would say it's not a good idea. Yeah, yeah. Generally speaking, you don't get married when you're that young. It's not a good idea, but it's just, um. We're just incredibly fortunate that it worked out because we weren't. I mean, I know I wasn't fully formed. I mean, I was not a grown up by any stretch of the imagination, but I. I feel like I. I. I hopped up there as fast as I could and hopefully got there.

Kaitlyn: Absolutely. Y'all did it together. So take our listeners back to the moment of graduation day. What was it like walking across that stage, knowing that y'all had accomplished something so incredible, and you had beaten the statistics of being able to graduate after an unplanned pregnancy?

Greg: Well, we were both really already. You know, I was already in a full time career when I actually graduated. So I think getting into into the occupation, I love that we built that together. Um, I was a professional in the horse business and so I got a lot of help from Auburn. I actually finished taking my classes at a junior college, and that I'd start riding horses at 2 or 3 in the morning and then the heat of the day. In the summers I would take classes and they would transfer them back to Auburn. So, um, I think it was a good culmination of, um, of goals, but I think I felt like we had already arrived on our, you know, my career path trajectory, um, together at that point before I graduate, I think it was getting into the industry that, uh, was really my graduation.

Kaitlyn: What about you, Sandy?

Sandy: I am I so my last two years, Greg had Greg finished ahead of me, started ahead of me, finished ahead of me and got his first job. And so I was commuting, uh, about an hour and a half on a good day each way to my last two years of college. And, um, so I did choose to walk at graduation. And, um, I've said a thousand times, you couldn't have slapped the smile off my face that day. I remember like it was yesterday, Greg holding Tony, who was honestly four years old, but just holding her up so she could be in the picture. Me and my cap and gown him in a suit or whatever he had to wear. And and Tony, you know, you know, four years old, I guess at that point, um, and uh, maybe five and, uh, just the three of us there and, um, and it was, it was a glorious day. Um, and it took it took us it took us close to six years to get our bachelor's degrees. Um, when? Because we did have to work a lot. And, um, we Greg did about a year long internship, and we all went there, and, um, but those graduation days were. They were special, for sure.

Kaitlyn: I agree, you know, it's something that nobody can take away from you, to be completely honest. It's it's an achievement that you look back and you're like, how the heck did we pull this off? But you did. You did. Um, so what are y'all's hopes and dreams when it comes to conversations surrounding unplanned pregnancies? Because let's be real, this conversation is very taboo. Not many people have it. A lot of times I see women who've had unplanned pregnancies after they've reached, you know, their family goals, they've gotten married, they kind of don't want to talk about it anymore. They want to sweep it under the rug and just live happily ever after. But it takes a true strong female and male to talk about something that is so taboo and can be seen controversial. So what is your hope for the future when it comes to conversations surrounding unplanned pregnancies?

Greg: I just want to offer support right off the bat. I mean, we've talked about just making sure they know that they can do it, that they are 100% can do it, but then also any avenue that we can help them with get with the right organizations that can help them some. But first thing is just a belief that they're that they're okay. A real belief.

Sandy: Yeah, I like it not to be ever uncomfortable. I wish it just weren't so. And I will say it's I think it's less so than it was. Um, but also I'm really I'm obviously very far distant from those moments, but, um, it's, uh, I mean, you're going to have a baby. That's that's a real good thing, you know, it's a just a real good thing. And, um, and and you just hate for there to be any shadow over that.

Kaitlyn: It's so true now with baby steps. Had baby steps been around back when y'all found out you were pregnant, do you feel you would have benefited from its resources?

Sandy: I am sure we would have. Um, I we again with family help, we we didn't necessarily need a place to live. Um, we were getting Pell grants for our tuition, but, you know, to to have help with childcare, to have counseling, to help you work through everything and work through how it can look and how what resources are even out there. I mean, maybe there were some I don't know if there were. I just didn't know. And I certainly wasn't going around asking because as you mentioned, it was it was it was taboo. It was it was kind of something I would just prefer not to talk about, honestly, at the in that moment just, um, you know, just stay skinny as long as possible and then and then have a baby magically

Kaitlyn:surprise.

Greg: A little sense of community would have been nice back then, too, because, I mean, I do feel like we were the I mean, in our our friends were nothing but fabulous. But still, we were the only married couple with the baby. I mean, the only ones. And then and then you get to, you hear other people that you know were around and that they've people have been through similar situations and, and probably been nice to have had one group to have identified with a little bit.

Kaitlyn: Absolutely. It can be very lonely and isolating, thinking we're the only ones going through this. And so that sense of community, that baby steps can bring Student-Moms, even if they don't need the housing. We've heard it truly is transformative for them. I'll never forget a moment. One of our Student-Moms. We've actually had two Student-Moms that have had twins and talking about wow, like we've had so many Student-Moms say if they can do it with two, I can do it with one. And that's all they needed is to see somebody else was doing it just like them and doing it with two little ones. It's wild.

Greg: Yeah. Real belief is huge. And that's something that I. The resources of Baby Steps gives is incredible. But I think that the community that they actually realize okay, yeah I can do this. I can be I'll be fine. And I don't have to give up on any of my dreams.

Sandy: Um, and we really do love to spread that word. I probably tell somebody every week of my life that we got pregnant and married in college. Um, just in case there's any reason they need to hear that, or anybody they know needs to hear that. You know, it's not it's it's she's one amazing human being that I'm really glad is here. Um. And we're fine.

Kaitlyn: So, you know, statistics tell us one out of every four women have experienced an unplanned pregnancy. And to know that that population is so large, it's shocking because it's not talked about a whole lot, but it's so beautiful at the same time because just like you, Sandy, almost every time I share about my unplanned pregnancy, somebody else is like, oh my gosh, that happened to me too. And it's almost this sense of common ground that we have together. I feel like we're cut from the same cloth. We have had to find the grit to get through a really incredibly hard time of life, but at the end of that was so rewarding to not only have the degree, but then to have that little one just watching you achieve all of your goals and dreams? How does it feel? You know, sharing with your children what you've been through in your past and them to be able to see how well you all are doing now?

Sandy: Well, they they both have said so, so many times how much they appreciate having goal oriented parents. Um, how we showed them, uh, you know, working hard, staying together. Family first. They, you know, they say they're both. I feel like our daughters and their husbands just amazing parents. And I love how intentionally they do everything. And I feel like I've told them, you know, I feel like we left a lot on the table, and they're like, we had a great childhood. I was like, well, we didn't do some of this stuff that you do, but um, I just, I yeah,

Greg: yeah, we're amazed at what they do do for their kids. And I thought, man, if we just getting through the weeks with what we were going through was, was such a win and, and but they, they didn't know the difference and they, they think it was wonderful. So you can you can almost do too much. Maybe.

Kaitlyn: Yes. Oh, well, I love to leave my guests with this final question. Um, so it's for each of you. If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, finding out that you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, what advice would you give yourself?

Sandy: I would definitely tell myself not to. Not to waste a bunch of time being all up in my head, being embarrassed. What a paramount, a waste, a waste of time. Um, I it was what it was. I was who I was. I wish I'd been more, you know, be comfortable in your skin, Sandy. Just be who you are. Be comfortable in your skin. You're fine.

Kaitlyn: Absolutely.

Greg: Yeah. The belief that our parents put in us that we can get through it. You know, I would tell myself that again, you are going to be fine, but it'd be close to what Sandy said. Really embrace it. I mean, just really embrace it. And I think by the time Tony came on, we were we were excited about it. But you, you you are still I mean, I know you've been through it. You have so many question marks on just finances and and logistics and all that. It's, um, you're just not worrying about that part. Deal with them. But, uh, embrace all the moment as much as you can.

Kaitlyn:  Thatt's a great answers. Well, thank you, Greg and Sandy, we really appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedules.

Greg: Thank you for doing this and all your work. We we just we appreciate Baby Steps and what they do. And, um, we're just honored to be asked.

Kaitlyn: Oh, well, thank you so much. And for all of our listeners, we hope to have you back for our next episode of Unplanned and Untold. Bye bye. Unplanned and untold drops new episodes every other Wednesday. We're available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. Don't forget to subscribe and give us a five star review if you've loved this episode, I'm Kaitlyn Willing, and this is Unplanned and Untold.